The Race to keep yourself Alive

Compulsive Gambling will kill you in a different way. First it takes your light. Then it takes your dignity, money, relationships, hope and physical, mental and emotional well-being. Like many of us that have suffered from Compulsive Gambling from a young age, you may be able to be physically alive and function in somewhat of a normal fashion – but the joy of living is always for others. You may be able to function at a superficial level with family, friends and those you work with, but you are a slave to the ‘bet’ thoughts, the dreams of big wins, of becoming the hero of your own life. Far from getting any relief in between bets, this is actually the period of your life when you are most anxious, depressed and obsessed. Obsessing about ‘Not Gambling’ is often the time when we are at our sickest.  Whilst you are lost in this haze of fantasy, madness, futuristic living – those around you do not exist as anything but obstacles. As long as your are in the quagmire of your compulsive thinking, acting and gambling, you are already dead to your own life and anyone that loves or depends upon you. In many respects, the only thing that reminds you that you are alive is the very thing that is killing you – the gambling itself. In order to recover and come out of our lost and detached reality, we must come put of the haze, back into the love, and ultimately start facing the pain that is reality. Otherwise, we stay dead in the life that does not exist, whilst trying to keep sub-realities, lies, fantasies and betrayal ever more alive. The sub-reality that is the fantasy of our compulsive thinking, living and gambling has infiltrated our being. It is only by allowing our very being to be changed through the 12 Steps and the other help we need,  that we come out of the darkness and back into a new friend – reality itself.